1

Your cart is empty.

Books for those in ministry organizations who desire to take their leadership, teams, governance, and ministry effectiveness to the next level.

17 Oct '14

Pay attention to the EQ of those we interact with and save yourself great frustration

Posted by T.J. Addington in emotional intelligence (EQ)
Think about the most problematic people you have dealt with and then consider the energy, time and frustration you experienced in trying to negotiate the relationship. Chances are good that you were dealing with individuals who had significant EQ deficits. Too often in these cases we deal with them as if they were rational, normal and reasonable individuals and we constantly hit the wall of frustration.

I am not suggesting they are "bad" people. I am suggesting that one needs to take the EQ of others into account in how we interact with them. Take for instance an individual who constantly brings up issues that they endlessly debate but they never seem able to come to resolution and put it to rest. Why get drawn into a conversation that never gets resolved? You are dealing with someone who is unable to resolve issues and their need to endlessly discuss them does not mean that we need to discuss them.

Here is a principle to keep in mind. The more frustration one experiences in dealing with another, the greater the likelihood that we need to reassess how we interact with them. And often, limit our interaction. Unhealthy individuals seek to draw others into their dishealth because that is where they are comfortable. Healthy individuals see this for what it is and refuse to get pulled in. Often the only way to do that is to limit one's exposure to those individuals and not get pulled into debates. I for one will not waste my time and energy trying to reason with unhealthy individuals. They are not open to reason.

That last statement is an important indicator of emotional health. You can have a productive conversation with a reasonable individual. Conversations with unreasonable people never seem to get anywhere. So why get pulled in? 

One can save themselves a lot of frustration by simply paying attention to the emotional health of those we interact with and modify our own interaction accordingly.